I haven't written in a long time. It hasn't been for lack of desire. It's more been about lack of things to say. I feel like I've been in a bit of a rut and maybe feeling sorry for myself a little too much. I have to admit that I've maybe even been a little bitter. It's not to say that it's without reason, for certain, nonetheless, I didn't want to extend my bad mood on to everybody else's good day.
My most recent revelations in life have basically been like that of a little kid trying to push their way through doors. The door can open a crack and they want to rush through. Inevitably, their fingers get pinched and they end up crying because they're hurt. This is kind of where I'm at. I have found myself trying to rush through the door that's only opened a little at this point and I keep getting my fingers pinched and crying in frustration.
Quite frankly, in general, I tend to cry out in frustration lately. I tell myself that it's not fair and that I don't understand it but the truth is that I don't have to understand these lessons for them to be good for me. Sometimes parents have to choose what's best for their kids whether their kids like it or not and that's where I'm at right now. It doesn't make it any easier...just more common, perhaps. Right now I'm doing my best to just keep floating along and letting God take care of things in my life because I have faith that there are better things coming and that blessings are about to take over my life.