Taking it personally

A long time ago, a pastor's wife told me that I was too concerned about other people's reactions to things. She told me that I can only be responsible for my efforts and my actions; not for other people's reactions. It was some of the best advice I've ever received.
Through years of issues with family, friends, and all that comes with being human, I have nearly always been concerned with other people's reactions. If I bought what I considered to be the perfect gift for someone and they merely shoved it aside, it broke my heart. If I put alot of time and effort into writing someone a thoughtful note and they didn't care much, it broke my heart. I was so concerned with that reaction that it was killing me emotionally. I didn't want to hear the words, mind you; I wanted for them to share in that excitement that I felt in doing something good for them.
After that mentor told me those words, I had to re-think my approach to things. I started focusing alot of my attention on making sure to not expect any reaction when I gave a gift or did something for someone. It was definitely hard, at first, but it got easier and it was a very pleasant surprise when I did encounter someone who was extra excited. In doing so, though, I also had to focus my attention on my own reaction to doing something. I learned, very quickly, that God allows US to feel that excitement when we do something nice for others because it is the only reaction we need: a sign that God is pleased with our behavior. It definitely helped me through the process.
I also found myself being more thoughtful of the trials in my life. If I lost someone that I loved, I had to thank God for the time we had together, grateful for that time and knowing that God would not allow such a change if it wasn't best for me. If I felt lonely, I had to thank God for giving me that time alone and asking Him what it is that I should be focusing on. In doing so, I am beginning to shift the pessimism that has been haunting me for years now into optimism. I am learning to appreciate things differently and, in some cases, more than ever before. It is difficult and it's a road with alot of stumbling blocks but I'm working on it little by little and I thank God for that opportunity.