Appreciation and Revenge

I have really had a couple of things on my heart very strongly lately: appreciation and revenge. They are two completely different topics and yet both apply to so many situations and can be tied together by the common threads of compassion and faith. Stay with me. Here goes....
Appreciation actually has 6 listed definitions in the dictionary and (bear with me), I'm listing all six of them: (1) gratitude; thankful recognition (2) the act of estimating the quality of things and giving them their proper value (3) clear perception and recognition (4) an increase or rise in the value or property, goods, etc (5) critical notice; evaluation; opinion, as of a situation, person, etc (6) a critique or evalution, especially when favorable. I'll bet you had no idea that there were this many definitions for appreciation. I know that I didn't. I was actually amazed at just how much there really is to appreciation when God laid this on my heart and I really started to look into it. Ironically, this clearly defines a plan of action for us to use for the act of appreciation. I can honestly say the the effort to use all six definitions will make you look at things much differently and really humble you in many circumstances.
Appreciation is gratitude (or more simply put), thankful recognition. You don't have to wait until someone actually completes a task to be thankful for their efforts. In fact, sometimes appreciation during the process is actually encouragement for them to finish the project or try again on a failed project. Appreciation should be showed for effort and not just results. Thankful recognition indicates not just a notice that someone is working on the task (aka "Oh I see you're working on the tile.") but a genuine "thank you" for the task. I can also add that making it personal makes all the difference. (aka. "Thank you for working on the tile. I really appreciate the time you're spending.")
Appreciation is also defined as "the act of estimating things and giving them their proper value. " Our country is a country where people (myself included) have a tendency to feel entitled. We tend to think that just because we live here, do this, have this, etc we are automatically entitled to things and priviliges. This mindset definitely makes truly appreciating something more difficult. The second definition pushes you to really look at the act that was done. Really look at the amount of time, effort, and resources that were used and DON'T CRITIQUE IT. Remember the first definition...thankful recognition. It means that you don't give someone a "thank you, but..." The other part of the definition is to give the act its proper value. My heart tells me that this would involve really recognizing their time, effort, and resources not only in your own heart but by adding a "I really appreciate it" after your thanks.
"Clear perception and recognition" is a short and sweet, to-the-point definition. You should truly make the effort to look at someone's act of kindness, etc through an open mind and look at their motives in a positive light. This is especially difficult with someone that you have a history with but it can be achieved with the right mindset. Sometimes, it involves actually speaking those positive qualities about the person into the light and looking at the act of kindness again to realize that you might have a negative bias. (Believe me, this is speaking from personal experience so I'm not passing judgement at all).
"An increase or rise in the value of property, goods." While this actually is referring to "things", I believe that is should apply to the way that we view someone's spirit when they try to do something nice for us. I'm not saying that we should discard those that don't do things for us, by any stretch of the imagination but true appreciation should be shown to the people that try to help us through words or deeds. It should increase their value in our life and we should let them know that as often as possible. This actually goes hand in hand with the fifth and sixth definitions, in my humble opinion.
In closing on this topic, I want to share what has come over my heart in learning about appreciation:
(1) Showing others true appreciation before ("Thank you for setting time aside to work on that"), during ("I appreciate you working on this so much. I know it's taking time out of your day and I'm so thankful."), and after ("Thank you so much for doing that task for me. It was such a relief to have it done and I'm so thankful for you putting your time, effort, and resources into it.") is a very important key to appreciation.
(2) Being specific about what details you are thankful for makes all the difference sometimes. Really looking at every aspect with an open mind of how much someone invests in doing even the smallest tasks helps with this process.
(3) True appreciation means putting aside your biases and (in some cases) your very nature to criticize or feel entitled and honoring that person with your words.
(4) Knowing that people often don't know how to express true appreciation means understanding that, although you know how to thank them, they might not be as thankful and appreciative to you. It is important to learn not to expect a "thank you" but to know that God sees your good deeds and He will reward you in the long run.
....Still with me? Okay well the common thread between my two topics is "compassion and faith." I truly believe that a heart of compassion and faith in God can lead you to help show your appreciation. I believe that truly praying for God to allow you to see someone through His eyes will blow the criticism out of your mind and heart and make room for the love that He asks us to show each other. I know He is doing that with me constantly right now and I am prayerfully accepting it with true appreciation to Him.
This commonly ties to the last topic, revenge, and what God has shown me about that very strongly. It is no secret that I have had some family issues in the past few years and it has been a long, strenous road for everyone involved. God is working His will little by little but it is certainly a lesson in patience. This lesson is affecting every area of my life and I've really had to take stock and reassess my life. I've truly had to look at my life and find the people who form my support system, the people who are somewhat neutral in my life, and the people who are doing harm. It has meant cutting ties with some people and showing more appreciation to others. But I digress....
God has shown me, in no uncertain terms, that a heart of vengeance will poison you. Ultimately, your own hatred and anger at someone else only hurts you. The other person is largely unaffected by your anger, moves of vengeance, and so on and so forth. This is easier said than done though, especially when you've been really hurt by someone you love. Ultimately, God can heal that pain if you're truly willing to let it go. He won't bend free will and He certainly won't send down His wrath upon someone who's done you wrong but He can heal your heart and take that pain away from you. You won't forget it but you will forgive it. You won't live with that pain in your life every day when it is replace by His strong, unyielding love.
He has also shown me that He sees every tear that you cry, hurts when you hurt and knows when your aching from the inside out. You can call it "karma", "what goes around comes around," or my personal favorite, a "godsmack" (not my made-up word...it's a borrowed word) but what people do comes back to them, especially when they're unrepentant. The choices that others make to intentionally wound someone's spirit or physical body do come back to haunt them and they have to face up to their choices. There is a verse that tells you, "Vengeance is mine, says the Lord." As soon as I feel the urge to act on a vengeant heart, I make a point to pray about it and really ask God to help me forgive so I don't perform an act of revenge that I will have to answer for later.
He has shown me that sometimes you feel like you're answering for something you didn't do. Sometimes, you ask yourself "What did I do to deserve this?" and the answer is, "This isn't vengeance on you for something you did. God is allowing this to happen to strengthen your faith in some area." There are periods in nearly everyone's life where they feel like they just can't get past that mountain because every time they start to make headway, they're knocked back down to the bottom. God never promised us that life would be easy and a wise man once said that "If you're not being 'attacked by the enemy', you need to take a look at your spiritual walk and make sure you're on the path. The enemy doesn't attack those that aren't a threat to him." The truth is that sometimes people are going to criticize you for something you didn't do. Sometimes people are going to act on vengeance for something they think that you did but you didn't do. In these times, you should remember that God sees that and, even more so, that God knows your heart, your motive and your actions. You should also know that sometimes this is allowed to happen to remove people from your life that are poisoning it. On some occasions, these people come around, move forward in their walk, and are welcomed back into your life because they will truly be a benefit. Other times, they are kept out of your life and (even when it's difficult) God allows this to happen to protect you.
If you have survived this long post, congratulations, you have spent a moment in my head. I am learning and growing on a daily basis and it is a daily walk. Sometimes I mess up and sometimes I run the race with flying colors but it is only with God that I have been able to walk this walk at all. It is only by His grace that I am able to look at these situations with an open heart at all. It is only by His grace that I am given the ability to share these things that might stir something up in someone else's heart or encourage them that they're not alone. I thank God daily for these lessons.