A series of uncontrollable events.....

Sometimes chaos just rules. There are a million ways to phrase it: trials, troubles, drama...the list goes on and on. There are going to be times in life when you just have to wait for a difficult storm to pass. Perhaps it's a death in the family, an illness, troubles with your kids, loss of a job, or a separation/divorce. It doesn't really matter what or how big the problem seems to anyone else, it is a difficult season for you and moving forward seems like it's not even possible.
There are a number of ways that you can handle a situation like this and I would be lying if I said that I'd figured it all out. I don't know if I could figure everything about things like this out if I lived to be 100. Here is what I have learned though.....
*The chaos is going to happen. There is no one that gets to avoid it. There is no amount of luck or blessing that will make anyone avoid it. There are going to be trials and they're going to be hard...no matter what your reaction.
*No one else will be able to identify with your feelings completely. Even if the problem is similar (i.e. loss of a parent, etc), no one's situation will be exactly the same and, more than that, everyone is different emotionally. So even if that friend has lost a parent too, it doesn't mean that they will be able to identify fully. It doesn't make their efforts to help any less wonderful or heartfelt.
*It's going to hurt. Any trials in your life are going to hurt on some level or another. A loss is a loss whether it's losing a thing, a person, or anything else. It's okay to feel those feelings and allow yourself to grieve.
*Everyone grieves differently. This is probably one of the most important things that I've learned. I have noticed that people seem to have this idea, based on their own feelings, of how someone grieves a loss and if the person grieves differently, they are judged for that. Some people grieve openly and weep in the presence of anyone around. Some people grieve behind closed doors. Some people get angry and some shut down. Some sleep and some keep themselves busy. More than that, everyone's grieving timing is different. For some, it takes months and months (and sometimes longer) and for others, it seems to happen overnight. God created us differently and we grieve differently.
*Denial helps nothing at all. The more you deny, the more it will hurt in the end.
*There will always be SOMEONE who thinks that they know how to "fix you." They are just trying to help and, unless they get overwhelming, they are usually best taken with a grain of salt. When you're not in the midst of the drama, you WILL be able to see where they're coming from.
*There is nothing wrong with just allowing yourself to take cover in the face of the storm but it won't make it pass any more quickly. Often times the best solution is to put on your rain gear and just go do what you have to do.
*Prayer is the only thing that can get you through ANYTHING. Even if the answer to your prayer is "wait", there is a level of confidence that comes in knowing that God has control over your situation.