In the past month and a half, God has put some amazing things on my heart but when I look at the mountains that are ahead, I think that it is an impossible mission. I feel like this is something that will live in my dreams and never find a way to turn into actual solid matter, so to speak. In short, I am doubting my ability to have enough faith to keep praying, even when it looks like it will never happen.
Though the story of the Moses is a great one to read for encouragement, it discourages me in that I don't want to wait 40 years for the changes in my life to finally become a reality. I think of Abraham and Sarah waiting on a baby and I think, "Gosh I don't want to be old and gray." I do believe in God's perfect timing but it doesn't make it any easier to wait, even with the level of patience that I have been given by God. So what do I do in the meantime.....
(1) Pray-Pray as hard as I can as often as I can. Pray for the miracles God has put before me to happen but pray also for God to rest my mind and help me to continue to have hope.
(2) Play - Play with my kids...keep myself busy. Work out, whatever I can do to have fun and keep my mind occupied.
(3) Take it one day at a time. I allow myself time to reflect on the dreams that God has put on my heart but I remember that it is going to be His timing no matter what. My anxiety won't help and I have to focus on the day at hand.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
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